her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
