let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
