there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
