It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
