Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
