So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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