Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
