He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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