So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
