Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
