Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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