Porn is love you can see.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Randomize
