These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
