we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I made him laugh his dick is mine
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
