Reggie can tackle my bush.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
