john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
