how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
