It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
