So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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