The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
