no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
