32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
