Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
