she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
