WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
