Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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