i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
