Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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