google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
