No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
