i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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