Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
