The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
