I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
