quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
