Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
oh god the rape fog is back!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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