Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
