I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
