I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
