I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
only you would photoshop your dick
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She tied me up with her honor cords...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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