We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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