Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
