I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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