You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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