it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
