bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
