They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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