He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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