No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
