Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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