Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
